A PORTAL FOR CHANGE AND DISCOVERY THAT IS ALWAYS THERE: YOUR EXPERIENCE
For many of us entering our experience moment by moment might feel regularly unpleasant, threatening, too intense and/or really hard to stay focused on. We might also feel numb to it.
We have spent generations leaving our internal experiences, our connection with our body’s sensations when they were unpleasant or frightening. So this process is well ingrained in our species.
We have covered up these continual experiences with ideas that were handed down to us such as ‘ the world is scary’ , ‘the other is dangerous’ ‘I am not good enough’, ‘I need to do more’ , ‘ sex is bad’ etc. These ideas reinforce the initial sense of discomfort which reinforce the ideas… We are snakes eating our tails. There is no way out, no resolution on the horizon.
Distraction becomes a momentary release, as is being judgemental or more critical towards ourselves.
Note, sometimes it is necessary to numb down, or distract ourselves to keep ourselves stable enough to go through life and the parts in us that can do this are very honourable and valuable… when we decide to have them active! ( as often they tend to be run on autopilot – do you see what I mean ?) What I am exploring here though is when exiting our experience becomes a normality, or worse, we don’t even realise we are doing it.
While we are exiting our experience we are disconnected from ourselves, our bodies, the different parts in us and the resources they carry, and with the inner resilience that we have all gracefully inherited as human beings.
Can you start noticing when you are distracting yourself from your experience? Maybe now that you are scrolling down, is there a sense of unhappiness, emptiness, trying to reach for something ? It is not that you have to stop being on Facebook for example, but that you can foster at the same time inside of you a conscious connection with that part of you. You can allow this part to be felt and so released.
If you haven’t done some “parts’ work” it might feel a bit bizarre at first to feel, for example, the social part in you who enjoys going on online, while also feeling the part who, for whatever reason, feels sad. But I promise it is possible.
The first step is to question : Which part of me is in distress right now? and to allow yourself to experience it, enter into it. If it feels threatening you will need some support from another being or nature to help you stay grounded so that the experience can be healing and not re-traumatising, this is very important.
Once we have tended and met the parts of us that are hurting they reveal their healed presence. For example a wounded inner child might start being creative; another one might feel confident and excited by connecting with others; a grumpy and resentful inner teen might bring its passion and strength; a wounded sexual part might bring its sexual power to connect with everything.
This is when our inner village and all the resources lying within start to reveal themselves to us.
And by the way it seems to me that there is no end to the amount of inner resources that are available… This brings a sense of aliveness to me. How does that feel for you?
Picture : Amanda Sage